I'm Only Me When I'm With You
by Nuna Hatem
Summary: 'Maybe, I thought in answer to Daphne's slowly fading voice. Or perhaps, I would have said yes. Perhaps I only said no to everyone else because I was waiting for him.' An entry for First Writing challenge on The Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry forum.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of it's characters; they are all property of J.K Rowling.**

-A/N: Hi, this is a one-shot for the First Writing challenge on The Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry forum. This is a bit out of my comfort zone, but I recently became interested in Astoria and Draco and I'm quite proud of this story. I'd really like to win because I love a challenge and this was really fun to write. But even if I don't win, I hope you like this :)

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_**Astoria Greengrass:-**_

I felt beautiful.

Not because I was wearing silk, expensive robes, or because my light brown hair was curling around my face prettily, gleaming and shimmering in the light. Or that my face was dusted with the most expensive make-up in the Wizarding World.

No, I felt beautiful because Draco Malfoy was staring at me, with an indiscernible expression on his face. I threw my head back, laughing loudly. I could feel Pansy Parkinson's glare on my back, so I purposely turned, still laughing to smirk at her. Sure she might have been on the arm of Draco Malfoy, but she was simply warming my place. Because I undoubtedly knew that my rightful place was at his side.

Parkinson giggled, the perfect controlled giggle of society. She did not have the confidence to laugh as care-free as I.

I smirked, not even trying to keep an impassive mask on my face. And why should I? What man would want a piece of glaring stone for a wife? They might as well get used to me now, because I was not bending to anyone's will. But one thing that was completely to my advantage was that I was different. _Unique_. Something one of a kind and unattainable.

And anyways Draco and Parkinson's relationship _was_ a little bit conspicuous, and strained. It wouldn't have ended up with a wedding, or a very short-lived one. I could not even picture Parkinson in a room with Narcissa and Lucius Malfoy. Pansy Parkinson had attitude – not class. And the Malfoys were nothing but class. Class, elegance, wealth. Oh, endless wealth…

Some would wonder why he was showing such a blatant interest with me, considering his _girlfriend _was at his side, pouting that he was not pretending to put up with their **façade **of a relationship. He had never shown any interest in me before…

_'Well what do you expect when you turn down every date offered to you? Malfoy's do not even contemplate the thought of being refused, it's a family trait. He wouldn't ask you because he was fearful that you would decline.' _

My sisters sarcastic voice cut into my mind. I looked around slightly in surprise, before realizing that Daphne's voice was entirely in my own head. Hm, I must be going crazy after all.

Maybe, I thought in answer to Daphne's slowly fading voice. Or perhaps, I would have said yes. Perhaps I only said no to everyone else because I was waiting for him.

I could imagine Daphne's eyes widening and I smirked. I knew that the time would come when he was tired of having second-best and would aim for _the_ best. In other words, me.

It was not as if Draco was blind. He could _see_ Parkinson and her imperfections. An appropriate quote came to my mind;

_Love is not blind- it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less._

'Astoria Greengrass! How have you been doing my dear? You look quite beautiful my dear! Absolutely stunning!'

Did he have to shout so positively loud? But no matter how I longed to glare at my meddlesome professor, I instead turned and smiled brightly at him. It was his party that he was hosting after all.

But he was right about one thing, of course. I _was _stunning. It was almost comical how much Draco was staring at me. Pansy looked torn between breaking down in tears, or clawing my eyes out. Except the not-so-funny thing is, Draco was looking straight through me, past my jovial mask, past my defense mechanism…

I was wearing a shimmering indigo colored dress and my dark curls were piled atop my head with a few strands alluringly left around my face. The dress was short, showing off my legs and mother would say it was '_scandalous_' if she saw it. Unlike all those stupid full-length gowns. It was in that moment that I was admiring my self that I noticed what Parkinson was wearing… and I had to begrudgingly admit that the little snake actually looked decent.

I abruptly turned to Professor Slughorn and smiled charmingly 'Why, thank you professor. I am quite honored by your invitation and for that I must thank you.'

_Ugh._ I wanted to puke. First of all, I did **not** want to go Slughorn's stupid party but it would be '_comprising the Greengrass reputation' _if I were to decline.

'Have you thought about what you will be doing after Hogwarts?' He was always a nosy one, his eyes were shining _too_ brightly for it to be a simply polite question.

'Well, I must run my husbands house-hold of course, and be the best wife and mother possible but training to be a Healer sounds quite interesting.' I tilted my head and smiled, as fake as Lilith Rosiers blond hair.

Of course I would be doing nothing of that sort! I would hold down my house-hold, fitting into the Lady of the manor perfectly. I would not have time to fix what others stupidity caused them.

_Really Astoria? You know you've wanted to become a healer since you've started at Hogwarts._

**Shut up.** I told the annoying voice in my head. The voice that I could not acknowledge because I knew it was right.

'Don't forget your old professor when you're making galleons, eh my dear?' The Slug said winking at me. _Ew_. I could feel repulsed shudders running down my back. Attempting to be polite, I simply nodded and smiled before walking off quickly. Enough Slug for one evening.

I hadn't always been so… _bitter. _There was a time where I thought Parkinson pretty and Slughorn as kind. But life had disappointed me too many times for me to be cordial. And anyways I would have been eaten alive if I had been nice in Slytherin. Parkinson had, at least taught me that over the years.

_I waltzed over to the Slytherin table after being sorted, plopping down beside Pansy Parkinson. I smiled innocently, full of happiness. Pansy had always been so nice to me and I was glad I had one friend at Hogwarts. She was a year older than me, but we hardly noticed the difference. She was rather angry at me though... 'Hullo Pansy. You look lovely.' _

_But she surprised me. Instead of simply thanking me or making conversation she flipped her hair and glares at me 'I'm aware of that, Greengrass. Don't think that we can be friends after what you did to me at that party.' She sniffed angrily before turning her head in the other direction. _

_I was shocked. It wasn't as if I had purposely meant to trip her. I had apologized profusely and I thought she was over it. No matter though. I faced her and offered her one of my small hands. 'I apologize Pansy. I'd really like us to be cordial.'_

_She stared at me, with wide eyes before laughing loudly attracting the attention of a boy with a pale, pointed face. 'Cordial? There is __**no possible way **__that this girl was sorted into Slytherin for any reason beyond her blood status.' The boy drawled lazily, arrogantly._

_Pansy laughed loudly again and smirked at me. Her face was so full of glee at the boys' attention. I felt my face burning pink. There was no reason for them to act like __**I **__was __the crazy one when they were all clearly evil._

_I stalked out of Fifth year potions angrily. I completely ruined my potion and failed the assignment. The icing on the cake was when I walked out of class, still fuming with Daphne over my horrible grade, Draco Malfoy and Pansy trailed behind us with a couple of other Slytherin's._

'_Is that Daphne Greengrass walking with Astoria? Oh, I always wondered how Daphne and Astoria are related, considering how different Daphne is from her… younger sister.' Pansy told Draco in a loud voice immediately followed by her silly giggles._

'_Oh, I know Pansy. The differences positively… shout out.' Draco drawled, staring, mockingly at Daphne and I._

_As if I cared about his stupid opinions. He did not know Daphne or myself so his thoughts were completely irrelevant. Just as I was going to walk over and coolly give them a piece of my mind, Daphne beat me to it._

_Daphne walked on light feet over to the sixth year Slytherin's. Her lip curled in disgust and she stared down her nose at Pansy, disregarding the other Slytherin's._

_Fleetingly, I became amused by the thought of those idiots attempting to hex my sister. They would not even stand a chance and really, the rest of the little group was hardly a threat to her, seeing how they gazed at her stupidly._

_'Pansy Parkinson.' Daphne said slowly 'I would be careful if I were you. You never know what might happen when you try to push someone too far down the line.'_

_Pansy gulped before smiling, just a twist of her lips, quick and fake. Part of her obviously wanted to stay on good terms with powerful Daphne Greengrass. Because Pansy's power would fade every year, more feeble with each silence and each scowl, and elegant Daphne was now busy with me, her now perfectly matured, delicate and graceful younger sister. I smirked internally, my newly-acquired beauty and charm upsetting Pansy's world was so humorous. If anyone knew how to lift my mood, it was Pansy and her petty problems. _

_Daphne plastered a grin on her face, obviously relishing in the uncomfortable look dawning on the Slytherin's features. Pansy's eyes were darting between them before she laughed loudly and simpered 'Oh Daphne, I was just kidding, surely you know that!' _

_Daphne arched her eye-brow slowly 'No, I do not know that Parkinson. But if you wish to heed my warning then please do so. But if you do not…' Daphne now leaned down and glared directly into Pansy's eyes 'It would be my pleasure to remind you once more.' _

_As we turned to walk off in the other direction, I saw a glint of amusement flash through Malfoy's eyes. I sniffed before sashaying off, curling my arm with Daphne's, twining our limbs together._

_***_

I felt my face burning angrily at the onslaught of memories. They had ruined me, molded me into a bitter and mean creature for their own amusement. I turned and stormed put of Slughorn's stupid party, the Greengrass reputation was the last thing on my mind. I walked quicker when I heard rapid footsteps behind me. Please, please, please let it not be that idiot Blaise Zabini. The boy did not understand that just because we talked for a total of five minutes, did not mean he was to follow me around all evening.

'Astoria!' I heard _his_ voice call out. I liked the way he said my name. It rolled off his tongue in a deep baritone voice as smooth as butterbeer.

Definitely not Blaise but someone so much better. _Draco. _I walked quicker and in that moment that I hated my short legs. What seemed like running to me was a leisure stroll to him.

Mother had told me that I would know the true meaning of love when I fell in love. Somehow, I knew the meaning of it now. Suddenly he grabbed my arm and swung me around to face him. 'What happened to you?' He asked flatly, arching an elegant eye-brow.

My eyes widened without my consent and I said sharply 'I beg your pardon?' Too fast, too edgy. Quickly, I scanned over myself mentally. I felt the colour flooding from my face, eyes with tears threatening to fall and shaky voice. I attempted to tame my erratic breathing. I failed.

Draco gazes at me, long and cool. 'I asked what happened to you' he reiterates without a break. It was surprising how he asked me a simple question flatly, straightforwardly. 'You ran out of that party, forgetting your composure and your… admirers.'

At the word admirers, he frowned, a slight down-turning of his lips. He surely didn't mean himself, so I struggled to think of who he was talking about.

'Zabini.' I said flatly, arching my own eye-brow.

He nodded, his face an impassive mask 'Yes, that's exactly who I meant. You of course, wouldn't want to… hurt his feelings.' He sneered the last part.

I felt my face turning red with anger 'You are arrogant in assuming that you understand who or who I do not care for Mr. Malfoy. Maybe you should go back and pay attention to your girlfriend instead of attempting to help me.' I said scathingly, glaring down my nose at him. But Draco Malfoy wasn't a doormat and he certainly wasn't going to listen to my instructions. And he was also taller than me so… I guess glaring down my nose at him didn't exactly work out as well as I wanted it to.

'And you, Ms. Greengrass are presumptuous in trying to control where or where I am not.' He retorted coolly. 'Why should I go back to Pansy or listen to your instructions? Why don't you back to flirting with Zabini? He is a possible suitor after all.' He smiled mockingly.

_How could he keep his composure so perfectly when I feel like breaking down? But crying in public is about the most pathetic thing a Slytherin pure-blood can do. _

'Blaise Zabini?' I narrowed my eyes in fury and advanced towards Draco. 'First of all, you are incompetent for thinking I would be flirting with that blithering idiot!' I watched as he stared unblinkingly at me. 'I'd rather die than lead some exhaustingly dull life with _him_." I spat out with such venom that Draco smirked

'I wouldn't want you to lead some incredibly dull life with him either.' He said softly, so softly that I could barely hear him. 'I didn't know you were so fiery, Greengrass.' He drawled louder, with a sly look on his face.

'Well, I didn't know you were so insufferable, Malfoy.'

He grinned lazily, his eyes flashing with amusement 'Touché'

I glared at him, feeling helplessly childish. I closed my mouth, determined not to let him anger me further.

'Come on Astoria Greengrass. If you're really as calm and collected as you… usually are,' He smiled mockingly 'Then why can't you say what's bothered you so very much?' He quickly covered his concerned eyes with a lazily arrogant grin but it was too late. I now knew he cared, and the look that was in his eyes gave me courage. Angry courage.

'Forgive me.' I said scathingly 'I was simply recalling all of our interesting memories with Pansy.'

His face turned the colour of sheets before he returned to his usual causal arrogance 'Ah yes. We certainly have quite interesting _history _together, don't we?'

I nodded 'Indeed.'

He put a finger to his chin and said in mock thought 'But Ms. Greengrass… Are you quite sure that is all that is bothering you? The way you ran out there was quite suspicious, might I say.'

I narrowed my eyes. I had quite enough of tip-toeing around the subject 'The last thing I want is to perpetuate the idea that you need to be suspicious of a lady, Malfoy.' I finally said after much thought. 'And I am sure that it is none of your concern either way.'

'Wrong Greengrass.' He whispered 'It's completely my concern. I'll always be there to assist fellow Slytherin's. Won't you please tell me why you're so upset?'

This time he didn't even attempt to cover up the concern in his eyes. And I was positive that was the first time Draco Malfoy said _please._

_'Do you want me to tell you something really subversive?  
__Love is everything it's cracked up to be.  
__That's why people are so cynical about it.__  
__It really is worth fighting for,__Being brave for,__Risking everything for.  
__And the trouble is,__If you don't risk anything,__You risk even more.'_

The quote was perfect for the moment. It gave me inspiration, courage. I took a deep breath. Time to face the music, as Daphne would say.

'Draco Lucius Malfoy.' I said slowly as he arched his brow, waiting 'You have commitment issues. You're presumptuous, you try and control me, you're jealous and you're much too proud to admit that you've made a mistake or ask for help but I love you. Sure, everything would seem perfect if I didn't tell you but I'd never love anyone...not really. Because I gave you my heart; and I don't want you to ever give it back.' I held my breath.

I felt hopeful as his eyes lit up and he smiled slowly. I wouldn't admit how devastated I would be if he rejected me 'I love you too.' He smirked 'I guess you really couldn't take that dull of a life without me huh?' He smirked again as I slapped him upside the head. 'Anyways I think you're the first person to really put me in my place.'

I smiled and laughed. I finally felt free 'And I'll always be there to put you in your place. But what about Pansy… your _girlfriend.' _I sneered the last word.

He laughed too, making his face look younger, more child-like 'Pansy can't even compare to you, you know. I was planning to leave her tonight anyways.'

I sniffed daintily, lifting my nose up 'Why bother? My sixth year work is very tiring, so I doubt I'll have much time for you.'

He arched an eye-brow and retorted 'Really now?'

'Yes. Do you seventh years have a terrible workload as well?' I asked with fake candidness.

'Much more than your sixteen year old brain cells can comprehend.' He shot back, triumphant.

'You are surely not as complex as you suppose you are, Mr. Malfoy.' The laughter was evident in my eyes.

He nodded, looking skeptical 'Perhaps,' He leaned closer to me now 'But don't think I'll let you win every time.'

I felt as if I was going to burst with happiness. Life is very long, it's just time that's short. And I will make sure to make the most of my time with Draco Malfoy. Outer beauty is what one sees first; but inner beauty is what makes one fall in love. And I fell in love with the man behind the mask. He had showed me his vulnerable side and I didn't care that he had weaknesses. He wrapped his arms around me and I finally felt safe, protected.

The course of true love never did run smooth. Somehow, despite everything we had been through and how hard it was to admit our feelings, we had come out together – maybe not unscathed, but still better than what we had been separate.

It's hard to describe a perfect moment. But, as I looked at the dark sky above, a navy blue blanket surrounding the world, surrounding us, I knew that this would be the most perfect moment of my life.

_**The end**_

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_Love works in miracles every day: such as weakening the strong, and strengthening the weak; making fools of the wise, and wise men of fools; favoring the passions, destroying reason, and in a word, turning everything topsy-turvy. - Marguerite de Valois_

_I really hope you liked my fic :)  
__~Nuna Hatem 3_


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